


Midnight Snack

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda Secret Summer, a dash of angst, coulson makes cookies, post 1x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Melinda finds Phil making cookies in the kitchen in the middle of the night, it seems like for once the two of them will have some peace. But some things can’t be ignored and some truths waited too long to come out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Snack

Phil didn’t notice her and she enjoyed just watching him. It was late and like always, sleep wouldn’t come. Whenever she closed her eyes, her nightmares already waited for her. These were restless times. She had come to the kitchen to make herself some tea, only to find it already occupied by Phil. If it had been anybody else, she’d turned around on her heel and left. She wasn’t in the mood for company, especially while she was wearing black leggings and a wide black shirt. - Her version of pajamas. But with him it was different. She could breathe a little lighter just seeing him like this. Safe. He was still wearing his suit, but had lost the tie and his jacket hung over one of the kitchen stools. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows.

There was some flour scattered across the counter top in the middle of the kitchen. A big metal bowl stood on it, an open carton of eggs, a bag of flour and a bag of sugar next to it. Two eggs were missing. Sometimes he baked when he couldn’t sleep or was stressed. He made the most delicious cookies.

Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad.

Phil put a tray of cookies into the oven. Then he straightened up and turned around. And he flinched and gasped as he saw her standing almost next to him.

“Damn it, Melinda!” He clutched his heart with his right hand. “I hate when you do this!”

She suppressed a grin. It was always easy to sneak up on him but her bare feet and his focus on his task had made things even easier. This was the fun part. “You should pick up Tai Chi again,” she said. “It trains the sense for your surroundings.”

He turned, took the carton of eggs and put them in the fridge. “You know that makes me mad.”

“Because you’re impatient.” He always made a fuzz out of it, sighing a lot and overall ruining her own concentration. She lifted a brow. “You should work on that too.”

He put the sugar and the flour into a cupboard as he glanced at her. “Came here to lecture me or is there something else you want?”

The cookies in the oven already smelled delicious. “How long until the cookies are done?” she asked.

He turned to her and squinted. “Ten minutes.”

“Chocolate chip cookies?”

“White chocolate chip with macadamia nuts to be exact,” he said and grinned. “Seems like your senses for your surroundings aren’t that sharp either.”

She decided to ignore the second part. Better not alienate him when he had white chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts. “Will you share if I make us some tea?”

“Make us some hot chocolate instead and it’s a deal.”

Fair enough. She took two steps to her left and opened the lower cupboard. When she pulled out the cocoa powder, he shook his head.

“The good stuff, Melinda,” he said with a challenging look. “I know you hoard it here somewhere.”

Damn it. Melinda put the cocoa powder away and turned to him, her hands on her hips. “If you show this to anyone I will injure you severely.”

He smiled happily.

“I mean it, Phil!” She moved one cupboard to the right and reached into it. Behind the pots and the pans, she kept her good chocolate hidden. She pulled out a bar of 50% Belgian chocolate.

His smile brightened as he looked at the chocolate. “My outsides are smiling but inside I’m terrified.”

He could be so cheeky! Gosh, she wanted to kiss him for that. Instead she glared.

“Get the milk,” she said sternly. “I get the pot.” She grabbed a small one and stood up.

“Get the pot …” He chuckled and walked to the fridge. He glanced at her as he opened it. “Why did we never get stoned?”

Rolling her eyes, she placed the pot on the stove. “Because we were never that stupid plus we’re law abiding citizens.”

“You think we’re boring?” He brought over the milk and she took it from him.

She poured a good portion into the pot. “The supposed to be dead director of our former secret agency just appointed you his successor after we hunted down a terrorist who pretended to be our friend for years.”

“I think we’re cool too.” He sounded so pleased with himself, it was adorable. She broke the chocolate into bits and he snatched a piece, before she swatted his hand away and put the chocolate into the pot. She turned on the heat. He opened a drawer and handed her a big spoon.

“What’s keeping you awake?” she asked as she stirred the milk.

He sighed. “My pending insanity and death.”

Of course. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No. You?”

“Neither.”

“Having nightmares?”

She pressed her lips together.

“Me too.” He brushed his arm against hers.

She concentrated on the hot chocolate. He cleaned up the rest of the kitchen.

They stayed quiet until the cookies and the hot chocolate were ready. Together they sat down at the end of the long kitchen table. They both had a mug of hot chocolate and a plate with three cookies on them.

Her eyes fell shut as she took the first bite of a cookie. “These are so good,” she said.

“Thank you.”

When she opened her eyes, she found him looking at her, a cookie in his hand but stuck mid air on its way to his mouth.

“They’re my favorite,” she said and took another bite.

He smiled. “I know.” He took a bite, too and sipped on his hot chocolate. His smile widened. “This is the good stuff,” he said.

It was. They ate in silence. This was nice, just sitting here with him in the kitchen while everybody else was asleep. Peaceful. Almost normal.

“We should take a trip next Wednesday,” he said after he finished off his last cookie. “For your birthday.”

She took the last sip of her hot chocolate and licked her lips.

“Because next Wednesday is your birthday,” he added.

She stood up collected the dishes. “I need to pick up a car.”

“Excuse me?” He covered her right hand with his before she could take the mug away from him.

“I found a car I could use for spare parts to fix up Lola,” she said and looked at their hands. “I will pick it up on Wednesday.”

“You’re trying to fix up Lola?”

“Yes.”

“But Wednesday is your birthday!”

Sometimes he was a little slow. She raised a brow.

“And you’re getting a spare car to fix up Lola?” he asked, his eyes widened. “You’re doing this for me?”

Sometimes he was just blind. “I’m not doing this for you,” she said and pulled away from his hand, leaving the mug where it was.

He tilted his head. “Melinda.” He didn’t believe her.

“I need to fix something,” she said. She couldn’t fix their mess. She couldn’t fix him. “I can fix Lola.” She turned and carried the two plates and her mug over to the dishwasher.

He followed her. “Can I come with?” he asked and opened the dishwasher.

“Yes.” How could she decline? They put away the dishes.

“Also I’ve decided to neither go insane nor die,” he said then.

“Good.” She swallowed. “I need you.”

He stared at her.

She raised a brow. “What?”

“It’s weird hearing you say it.”

She was so done with him rejecting her emotions. “Because I’m cold and unfeeling?”

He shook his head. “Because you are self sufficient,” he said softly. “And more often you feel too much than too little. I know you. And usually I’m more in your way than anything else.”

How could he even say that? “I wouldn’t have survived Bahrain without you,” she said quietly and looked at him. “I won’t survive losing you.”

“Yes, you would.” He pressed his lips together. “You’re so much stronger than I am. You would survive. You’d be happy. You could find someone and -”

“There’s no one else.” Sex, yes. Loose affairs, yes. She didn’t want more from anybody else.

He shrugged helplessly. “You deserve more from life than to watch me die.” He looked away. “You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. I know you’re my friend but I want more for you than this.”

Her heart was racing. “104 hours,” she said.

He gave her a questioning look.

“For 104 hours I wasn’t sure if you’d live or if you’d stay dead.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I could just sit around waiting for Fury to update me on your status. The worst 104 hours of my life. And I had hope then.” She swallowed. “I won’t survive losing you. I can’t. For me there’s just you.”

His eyes widened and she had to avoid his gaze. She felt herself blushing. Damn it. She shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t want her like that.

“I’m tired,” she added quickly. “I’ll go to bed now. Good night.”

“Melinda.” He took her hand and squeezed.

She wanted him to hug her. She wanted to wrap herself around him. She wanted him to love her too. Just a little. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He brushed his thumb over her hand.

“Please,” he said.

She swallowed. “Just don’t die or go insane, that’s all I ask.”

He took her hand between both of this. He felt so warm. She closed her eyes.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked at him. “You do?”

“Yes.” He pressed her hand against his chest and tilted his head. She took a breath. He meant that. She took another breath. Her heart was pounding.

He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “You okay?” he asked.

She inhaled. She exhaled. He looked concerned now.

“I love you, too,” she said.

He stepped closer. She lifted her chin as he bent down. His lips moved softly against hers, slowly. She wrapped her arms around him. Touching him was even better than looking at him.


End file.
